


The Blake's 7 Top Fifteen Clever Methods for Committing Suicide

by Gozer



Series: List World [1]
Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Dark Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:53:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5604004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gozer/pseuds/Gozer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it says on the box.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Blake's 7 Top Fifteen Clever Methods for Committing Suicide

**Author's Note:**

> If you're a fan of B7, you probably have a very high tolerance for dark humor -- or dark humour if you're a Brit or Brit-adjacent -- so I hope your psyche won't be irreparably harmed by the following David Lettermanesque list. This was written in the 80s and I believe it appeared in one of the DSV zines I published back then. As with most humo(u)r, if you don't know the subject, the jokes will sail over your head.

**The Blake's 7**

**Top Fifteen**

**Clever Methods for Committing Suicide***

**by Teenygozer**

 

15.  "Chenga": The Home Organ Donor Kit.

14.  Stroll on one of the beautiful, pollution-free beaches of Sarran.

13.  Invite a mutoid to lunch!

12.  Park in Travis' "Handicapped" parking space.

11.  Space Rat bar.  Pink short-shorts.  Need I say more?

10.  Visit the feeding zoo on Terminal.

9.    Andromedans make great penpals!

8.    You on the bottom. . .  Egrorian on top.

7.    Join the Rebellion!  Somebody will eventually get around to you.

6.    Join Federation Space Command!  Somebody will eventually get around to you.

5.    Twenty bags of Pop Rocks, five gallons of Soma.

4.    Cruise the Delta Domes in a drop-top hovercar wearing a Servalan mask.

3.    Kiss Kerr Avon on the mouth and tell him you trust him!

2.    Shadow, anyone?

       . . . and the number one Blake's 7 Clever Method for Committing Suicide is:

1.    Five words:  "AVON, I SET THIS UP!"

 

*Must be read out loud using David Letterman's snide tones.


End file.
